Am I good enough?

Pick Me!
Pick Me!
Pick Me!

Anyone else ever feel like we go through this our entire lives?
When your born you seek your parents love and affection.
When your little you hope the popular kids want to be your friends.
When you reach adolescence you hope the boy/girl you like, likes you.
When you finish school you hope the company you are dreaming of working for hires you.
When your dating you hope the grown man/woman of your dreams asks to be with you forever.

I often recall in life, times where I was trying my HARDEST to be "picked"...I was NEVER picked.
Left feeling alone, and undesired.
But then, when I constantly work on self improvement and competition in all avenues of life...
Work..Career...Business... Health.. Beauty.. Spirituality... Education.. Mental Strength..Humility...Love..
There become way too many options to choose from. All that seem to have "chosen me" in one way or the other... I digress... this is not a "grass is always greener on the other side" Post...

So let me re-direct My Thoughts...

What is the easy answer for what/who you strive to be?
Other then God's Child striving to follow his footsteps and become the Christian he calls you to be....
Have you set a Bar for "Good Enough" or Excellence of one self/"You"...
If you have been able to determine what that might be for YOU...what are you measuring against?
How did you come about that set marker? What will you do when you reach that? Stop working hard to better yourself?

Whatever you do.... don't set the Marker based on any other human being's acceptance.
Its a good chance YOU are your number one supporter, and motivator to be better/best/great.
Even if you don't know it yet. :)
Maybe this will be a wakeup call for you...and me.. 

FaithFULL

Dear Lord,

 Please help me keep my Faith Steady.

 It's so hard to know and believe everything will be "alright".
 Mainly because I think what's in most human's head as what feels or what we desire in order to be "alright" may have nothing to do with what you have planned for us.
 I pray to not be a burden on others.
 I pray to not be taken advantage of and "feel it" happening unless there is a lesson from you for me, in it.
 I pray for the strength to always stay bubbly and deal with life transitions with a strong stand and huge
 smile.
 I pray.

I know you got me. Every now and then something happens only that I would notice that reminds me. Usually when I am the most uneasy.
I love you.
Thanks for being my #1.

Your Child.

Blah

I missed Blog Wednesday's Yesterday!

Blah!


My J.O.B. is imitating Life, and Life is imitating my J.O.B.

...yea...figure that one out....

Welcome to Weekly Blog Wednesday's Folks...

Been Slackin a lot lately...
On the Bloggin...


Hell. real life caught up to my free time- to ....space out and share thru words...


Not that it matters.. 
It wasn't missed :-p

 I tend to hold my deepest thoughts for this typing surface though so it's a good stress reliever for me ...and delivers some insight for you ... doesn't it? *yes YOU*...






I'll be back ;-)

Privileged

Definitions:

1. Enjoying a privilege or having privileges: a privileged childhood; privileged society.

2. Confined to an exclusive or chosen group of individuals

As crazy as it sounds, I think in some parts of my community or Black/African American/Urban society this word describes a individual in a way that is seen as "negative". It comes with a certain taboo that automatically classifies you as "lazy, selfish, bougie, a snob, or outsider".

I think my parents sometimes don't understand why I like owning a non-profit, or always choose to do things for friends, or share with others the way I do. I really don't understand how they can't figure out where 'the desire' to be this way comes from. My mother used to tell me this kintergarden story about me giving away a pair of14karat gold earring in exchange for some cute plastic earrings to a friend. I apparently was ecstatic about the exchange.

To me the funnier part of the story is when she had to go back up to the school to try and get my earrings from the friends mother and how the mother acted as if 'my friend' had never came home with my earrings... before a old fashioned 1985 beat down occurred the earrings re-appeared. 

I think the perfect combination of a young African American child in today's society is one that is financially provided for in ways of education, shelter, nutritious food, activities, love, religion, responsibility, family, and friendships. & To be able to have each of those elements in their livelihood as they mature into an adult. We all draw on our personal life struggles in our own way, just as those afforded "privilege" lives and childhoods, are able to help others ...if they choose too. What would our culture be like if we were all only "one type"?

Be Blessed....

What I love about being an Adult

Today I had a experience that made me think of when I was still someone else's primary responsibility.
It made me really stop and think about why I like being grown.

You ever feel like only people who really aren't GROWN say stuff like that?
I run into elderly people occasionally that seem to be very wise that say things like...
"Chile, I wish I was young again, free from decision making, bill paying, or worrying to much about life.."
Although 30's is no where near mid-life...and now a days I guess it's the new 20...right now I prefer it over 10.

But guess what in one quick leaf drop can make an Adult seem to have the same problems as a Child...

Lack of money. 

Yep.
I said it. #sucks right?

I dont want to share...

I am a only child.
But most times if I could I would share my last dollar.
My mom tells stories of when I would give away real jewelry for shiny plastic jewelry when I was a little girl if a childhood friend asked.

But....
Sometimes...I don't want to share.
This is still a rare feeling for me.
But I am not talking about materialistic things or items that be bought.
I am talking about a feeling. For a person.
A special feeling.
I don't want to share meaning, I don't want anyone but me, to have a similar feeling for 'this person'.
Is that unfair?
Has to be right? Because you can't stop others from their 'feeling'
Not even when you are obligated to that person and they are obligated to you.
Its not inevitable all the time..but definately possible.

How many people can YOU be infatuated/in love with at once?